My Experience with Pornography

Resisting this temptation and addiction can orient your entire life toward victory.

I’m sure the title riveted your attention. No, this is not a confession of porn addiction from which I’ve been delivered by God’s grace. I certainly have been delivered by God’s grace, but I was delivered from ever having the addiction itself. This is surely an aspect of God’s grace not often recognized.

I was arrested by this tweet by Nancy Pearcey:

Porn is virtually ubiquitous today, and the fact that so many men acknowledge watching it is not merely tragic. It is horrifying.

Porn is a relationship-killer, a marriage-killer, a life-killer. It is not a victimless crime. Its victims are everywhere. Indeed, there can be no pornography without victims. It transforms women (and these days, even pornographic images of men) into objects of lust rather than love. It fuels desires that cannot be legitimately satisfied. It binds us to Satan’s chain gang.

I could be susceptible to this sin like any other man could, and I could fall anytime, but by God’s grace, I’ve resisted intentionally looking at pornography, yes, even alone in hotel rooms, even though obviously I have seen it unintentionally on a number of occasions.

This is largely due to the grace of being reared in a devout Christian home. My father and mother hated pornography, and they warned me against it. They set godly examples of human sexuality in our home. I could never thank them sufficiently for this aspect of a wide-ranging Christian heritage. The day I walked out the door to go to college, my mother said to me, “Always be the son your mother thinks you are.” How often when I was tempted have I thought of that loving maternal counsel, and how often it helped me to avoid surrender to temptation.

The Encounter

When I was 17, almost 18, and preparing to head off to college for the first time, I had a life-altering encounter with pornography. I would often take long walks by myself in order to think, and my walk on occasion took me down a very long and largely deserted road that led to a salt mining company. This road was rarely traveled except for trucks that serviced the company. Often I could walk in the middle of the road and not be concerned about traffic.

One day as I was walking I chanced on a magazine right in the middle of the road. What was especially perplexing is that it was slick, shiny, and in mint condition. It was right in the middle of the road. There was almost no way that this magazine would not have borne the marks of truck tires if it were there for any length of time at all.

As I walked near it, I noticed the title: Intercourse Illustrated. Immediately I knew what exactly what was in that magazine. I was 17 years old, and like every 17-year-old male, I had raging hormones. I had a choice at that very moment, and if I picked up the magazine, likely no one would ever see or find out — except God.

By God’s grace, I simply looked at the cover, stood up, and walked away. I never looked back. That was an act of God’s preventive grace, his grace preventing me from sin.

I believe that somehow Satan had strategically placed that magazine in the street at that particular time for my particular temptation and consumption. He had a wonderful plan for my life, and that was to destroy it.

I also believe that had I picked up that magazine and opened it, the entire course of my life would’ve been altered. I believe I probably would not have met my wife, would not have had the testimony and ministry that I’ve had, and could not have been the blessing to many people that I have been. This is not due to my goodness, but to God’s grace.

I believe that when we say no to sin as men, and especially to pornography, God blesses us in ways we could never anticipate. Young men and older men can gain the victory over pornography. But it is best if they never become addicted to it in the first place.

I urge you young teenagers to avoid it at all costs. Parents, do everything you can to help your sons to avoid this sin and its destructive addiction. Church leaders, preach and teach on this issue frequently. Spend time encouraging and helping young men to avoid this temptation and to escape this addiction.

Recently my godly 14-year-old grandson brought this issue up with me. He learned something that many men three times his age do not yet know. He said: “Every time I resist this sin, I get stronger.”

He’s right. God preventive grace is even greater than his restorative grace.